Chapter 36.2

Her thoughts were interrupted when Fang spoke once more, slowly, carefully overthinking things. "I wish I could tell you there's no need to worry, but that would be a lie. There are people with blind faith in the previous Duke, no guarantee none would lash out if an opportunity presented itself. And we can't trust all the people that fled here to escape you. Blacktree is fine, others might not."

Fang idly tapped on the wall as she thought things through. "But you know, it's actually a good thing that Red is so actively trying to keep you safe. You see, the Berserk Flame was ages ago, and he just burnt things down. But the Crimson Giant shed his own blood to protect others. They loved him for that. Knowing now that he was their Marquis, that will wake feelings of loyalty within them. And where they hated you for killing their Marquis, knowing now that he's going to great lengths to make you feel safe? That may very well turn their hearts in your favour."

She pushed herself away from the wall and looked Eirwen in the eyes. "With that said, Oath and I would like to give you a hug now. You look like you can use one." Bethan nodded her agreement and the two moved towards her, not caring to await Eirwen's response. As the two embraced her, Eirwen held herself together, letting the hug heal her but without falling apart at the touch. She was grateful all the same.

After a while, they reluctantly let go of her. Fang wandered over to the map on the table. "So I've never used a memory crystal before. How does it exactly help you with making the map?"

A nice change of subject. Eirwen grabbed the nearby crystal and showed it. "It's a mana stone with specific enchantments. One trick some knights and nobles learn to use, is to properly depict their memories. But it's a rough trick to learn, which is where the crystal comes in. With a little guidance, you can easily let people depict their memories through it. That way, any layman can still show their memories to others. It also offers options to store, and eases the act even for an experienced user."

She channelled her mana into the crystal and easily summoned an image, showing Red and his personal guard facing off against two dozen Verglas knights. A scene she had recently seen in her nightmares. The image was rather flat compared to her normal work. "The third battle for Pont-y-dyffryn. Verglas needed the nearby road for a supply transport, so Flameheart moved to intervene. These knights had decided to set a trap, keeping me uninvolved. All I could do, was watch. Due to the large distance, this was the best I could manage. And the crystal helps me easily recall that."

She showed her memory of the fight, where the knights attacked and he used his peculiar shield to capture their spears. Fang whistled at the sight. "Oh that trick! Impressive, to use it against that many people." Eirwen raised an eyebrow at that, but continued showing the memory, until suddenly she saw Red grin wickedly. Just as his sword slashed out, she let the memory go, the image fading away just before his sword cut through necks. Fang looked at her in shock. "Wait, what just happened?"

"A nightmare." Eirwen sighed. "I had a nightmare of this battle recently, and apparently it's messing with my memory. I was hoping to override that with the real thing, but apparently that's going to take more eff-" Her breath hitched as she felt a hand on her own, a hand that wasn't there. Mana flowed through her into the stone, bringing back the depiction of the fight from before she had lost control of the memory. She sent her senses towards Red, still sitting in the inn nearby. He was now sitting straight, looking into nowhere as his companions asked him what was going on.

His hand squeezed hers in encouragement, then he began to change the picture. From the distant limited depiction, the figures changed into a manifestation, filling the room for all to see as he showed her his own recollection of the fight. She had only been able to see the backs of her knights, but now he showed all sides, all that his senses had observed. And then he tweaked things. Now, the crystal no longer showed faces and gear in detail, but figures of light with mana flowing through them.

From this point of view, she instantly recognised their techniques. Could tell the level of control of their mana techniques, how sloppy they were, what openings they left. As he began to let the memory play out, she could even see his own techniques, recognise the ones he had illustrated in recent months. Ones he had concealed from her senses on the battlefield throughout the war.

Eirwen suddenly realised her doorguards had stormed into the room, as had several other knights, the rest of them outside the doors, looking in. All their eyes were wide open at the vision before them, with sounds of battle, angry shouts, and at the same time mana manipulation laid bare for all to see. They all knew Eirwen and Red had excellent senses, but this showed them exactly what the two of them actually could observe with their minds.

"It's alright. You're outside Eirwen's practical range. As long as you disguise your moves with flashy acts, she won't catch on. Just beware of Griffri and Llygad, they will realise eventually. Take them out first."

Now Eirwen's eyes were wide open as well. That was his voice, in a tone that was a mixture of his normal teacher mode, and the authoritarian commands he gave at times. But it originated from the memory, and had been aimed at himself. As she thought of what that meant, she saw his memory hit one knight, who already was kneeling with broken ribs that interfered with his breathing, on the head with the flat of his sword. Then, he suddenly cut past two knights and smashed his weapon straight into one's neck, instantly causing the man to lose consciousness.

"Good. Don't rush. Hold the line. You took out their eyes, but rushing still leaves an opening. If not now, then in the future. Never rush. Never falter. They need to see you as inevitable."

Fang, Nantgate, Bethan, they all were as shocked as Eirwen at this. That showed her that it wasn't just her, this was something he had never shared or given away. She could tell from Nantgate's eyes that the knight was thinking back to when he had defeated her. Had he been observing her the same way, giving himself the same kind of instructions? As for Eirwen, she wondered what he had told himself that fateful evening that he had showed up to surrender to her. As they pondered these things, the memory continued, both angry shouts and his own mental instructions never ceasing.

"Hold back, don't overextend. There are no threats close enough to matter. Have faith in Darragh and the others. You're not your father, you have people by your side."

"They're becoming desperate. Get ready to paralyse them, but make sure to distract Eirwen's eyes so she doesn't catch on. Anything she realises, she will pass on, in hope they capture you alive."

She had done so repeatedly, yes. Hoping that at least that way, if they defeated him, he'd be captured instead of killed or murdered. The only way she could control the hatred they felt for him, while holding back her own. Because if ever her own mask had slipped, if ever she had shown just how deep her hatred of him had become, they'd have died by the dozen to drag him with them.

They brought her up, shouting at him that he had never deserved her. That she would never forgive him. That he deserved death for his betrayal. Both frustration at knowing they were losing, but also trying to lash out and hurt him.

"And? Losing to them won't fix you betraying her. Focus on the fight. If you fall here, you just put her fate at six and seven."

Oh, that hurt. Even the part of him that kept himself in check, had believed fully that he had no right to ever be forgiven. Considered his acts betrayal, but required to aid her. And the worst part was that he had been right. If he had been captured, that'd have given his father control and an excuse to shed blood. And if he had been killed, there was no way to know what the man would have done. But he still had loathed himself for it, forcing himself to push through.

As his memory of the fight carried on, approaching the inevitable victory, Eirwen sat down and put the crystal aside. When she let go of it, he stopped feeding mana into it, letting the manifestation dissipate. His presence embraced her from behind, holding onto both her body and her mind. When Fang and Bethan had hugged her, she hadn't cried. Now, tears ran down her face, clear for all to see. Yet she was happy, glad he had shared this with her, joyful that he had showed her one more part of him, to let her understand him better. It even made her feel guilty that she had told Fang things she hadn't even told him yet.

She'd have to fix that later. He deserved openness from her as well. For now, she smiled and dried her tears. "Thank you. Go back to your party, I'll be fine. I'll see you in a few hours." An affirming thought, then his touch dissipated. In the inn nearby, he finally gave his companions proper attention again with an apology. And in the tavern, Eirwen looked at her knights. They had all seen that, had been able to sense his presence, observe the way he had embraced her. It was something she never could have shown them at Verglas territory. Here, she could.

They nodded at her, in understanding and sympathy, then withdrew. Once more, only five remained in the room. Eirwen took a few deep breaths, then got back up with a smile. "Alright, you asked about the map. So with the memories people shared, we managed to reliably reproduce the actual elevation differences and different roads. We also got them to share information on where and when they encountered any threats. I think we're getting close to a conclusion about that, so in a few days, we should be able to discuss that. Anyway, since you're here, care to give it a try?"

Fang nodded, gladly accepting the distraction. As she shared her memories and Eirwen took note, while updating the relief, Eirwen couldn't help but smile in joy. Even if it had been painful, once more confronting their past had brought her closer to recovery.