Chapter 29.2

Fang looked around in shock, unsure if she was being taken for a fool here. "Uhm, is that really all you want to know, miss Snow?"

Red just kept his head buried in his hands, while Eirwen smiled. "One of the reasons I came to the mountains, was to get to know him better. And there's questions I don't need to ask. I know he has murdered well over a dozen people here, but I have no doubt in my mind that they were justified executions. I've also already seen how he can grow into a giant shape. So yes, his love life is all I'm curious about."

Fang gave Red a cursory glance, finding no objection, she switched back to her normal grin. "No love life worth speaking of, miss Snow. He rejected every one of us who tried, stating he only cared for his Clòimhneag at home." With a mischievous grin, she continued. "Pretty sure he didn't even take care of himself. He just took cold baths whenever someone came on too strongly, while he never gave anyone as much as a kiss."

Red rose from his seat, the tips of his ears as red as his hair. With a sound between a sigh and a groan, he stood next to Eirwen and glared at both of them. Fang practically purred as she grabbed the opportunity presented for some payback. "Remember the time four of us undressed in front of you and asked you if you wanted to join us for a swim? You stood guard with your back turned and even your senses stayed well away from us. A perfect gentleman."

She turned her eyes towards Eirwen. "So don't worry, miss Snow. Both his heart and body always belonged to you. All we did was tease him, but everyone knows to take no for an answer around here. I may not have been around him all the time, but I'm convinced that both before and during the war, you're the only one he slept with."

Eirwen looked away with a blush. What was it with people and that conclusion. Fang's eyes narrowed as she studied their expressions. "Hold on. Wait, are you telling me you two didn't actually get off during the war? We kept hearing stories about how you'd meet his western blade in private. Were those a lie?"

Oath snickered at the vulgar euphemism, while Eirwen shook her head. "We did meet and even had a few private arguments, but no, contrary to what apparently way too many people think, we never had any physical interactions during the war."

"Why?!" Oath cracked and burst into laughter at the pure offence Fang seemed to be taking. "Sure, the two of you were enemies, but I've seen the way you look at each other. You're telling me that you never got tempted to relief some stress that way?"

Both blushed heavily, while several of the knights did the same. Eirwen barely managed to respond. "There were... circumstances, which helped me resist temptation."

Red leaned over and grabbed a mug as he stepped in. "What she means, is that it would have been a bloody mess." As he drank, Eirwen's entire face turned red from embarrassment.

"You knew." She kind of felt offended at that. As she said that, people began realising what he had meant, even Oath feeling awkward at the subject.

He shrugged, still blushing though with a nonchalant tone that didn't match that at all. "I planned around it, actually. I know when you'd be least and most likely to lose control, so I would only meet you on safe days. Any other, I either bought time, or sent Darragh to earn your ire in my stead."

Fang had been listening with open mouth, only now managing to get a word out through her surprise. "Wow, alright. I guess it was better to avoid the risk of a pregnancy, I guess."

Red shook his head at that. "That never was a risk. We were both taking birth control just in case."

Oath frowned at him as she thought that message through. "Hold on, how did you know that?"

He shrugged again, guilt hitting his eyes this time around. "I saw the reports. My father had been looking into it as a possible poisoning method, only to find out Verglas had begun growing their own inside the estate wall. So I knew physically there would have been no consequence, but mentally it just wasn't an option."

It was a bit sobering to be reminded of how far the Duke had been willing to go in his plots against Eirwen. Fang tapped the table. "Then why did you two keep meeting each other, if not to get physical? It must have been extremely painful."

Because she had missed him. Because she never had given up on trying to lure him to her side, even if she had lost hope long ago. It was too painful for Eirwen to say so, reaching out for a bottle to distract herself. 

Red took hold of the bottle, preventing her from drinking more. When he spoke, his voice was resolute, sounding as if he needed to tell them all. "To make sure she kept hating me."

Eirwen didn't need her senses to know that everyone's eyes, including her own, opened wide at that statement. And even before he continued, hers narrowed again as she began to think that through. "I didn't care about her hatred, as I deserved it anyway. It was indifference that I feared. Because if I slipped from her heart, if she had found someone else to be by her side, I couldn't have borne it. So I made sure to keep her hating me, so she could never properly move on from me."

It made an awful amount of sense. It was definitely the kind of thing a mad person obsessed with her would do. "That's why I fought where she could sense me. Why I went to negotiate when she no longer showed at the front. And it is why I surrendered myself to her mercy, giving her everything I had. Because sure, I could have supported her from a distance, but I wouldn't have been able to survive it. So I gave myself to her, ensuring that she could never imagine a life without me."

He turned towards Eirwen, looking down at her with a guilty smile on his face. "I told you, didn't I? My motives were never selfless. I knew you could handle yourself, that even without my help, you'd have been fine. But I wouldn't have been. So I did whatever I could to ensure you would never let me go. I never expected forgiveness or love, and I knew I deserved neither, so I settled for your hatred, to allow me to remain by your side."

That was why he had been so willing to make her hate him. Why despite his pain, he hadn't backed down. Until he couldn't bear her pain any more. His smile turned to sadness, before it touched upon mischief. "I told you I'd tell you the truth once we were both ready. This is it. I shackled myself to you so that you'd be stuck with me."

While Eirwen blushed, realising full well it was an absurd response to his confession, others sighed. Caerbychan, Rook, broke the silence. "You truly are a madman. Turning her love into hatred so it would remain? That was utterly foolish."

Red grinned in turn. "You're right, but after years of madness, it was all I could believe in. Until you talked sense into me, making me realise that I was hurting her far too much. That keeping so many secrets would cost me all. So I gave up everything, bar the one secret we weren't ready to face yet. And you made me hope that maybe I could actually make amends."

Eirwen grumbled at that. "Yet when I threw myself at you, you just rejected me and drove me to despair." She never could have said that at home, at either seat of her power. But here, with the lines blurred between her and her subordinates, she dared bare her heart in front of them.

Red turned his eyes back to her, his hand slipping onto hers as he gave her an apologetic look. "You're right, I did, because I never deserved a second chance. Because none of my motives can truly excuse my betrayal, or the pain I had put you through. But you were right. I may not deserve your love, but I also have no right to stop you from loving me anyway. I don't get to reject you just because I am unworthy of your forgiveness. So when you declare you refuse to let me go any more, all I can do is rejoice at that."

He leaned forward and kissed Eirwen's cheek, then addressed the room again. "If you will all excuse this madman, I need to make some arrangements. I will be back soon."

As he left the room, retreating to give them time to think, silence fell as everyone considered what he had just told them. It was Fang who broke the silence. "Okay, I can understand why miss Snow ended up back with him. But why do you lot seem happy with that confession? How come Verglas doesn't still hate him?"

Rook couldn't help but look at Light, who sighed when she realised the man had just drawn everyone's attention to her. Though she was indeed the best example present. "Honestly? Because of the way he fights. You see, when he captured me, he dislocated my shoulders and held a Verglassed blade at my throat, while waiting for his knights to defeat the others. But when he had surrendered and knights harassed him under the guise of sparring, he broke oh so many bones. He only started holding back after miss Snow here told him we only had a few healers available."

Oath and Rook both grimaced at the reminder of that gruesome day several months ago. Light continued her explanation. "So you see, he served his father as a knight. But he serves miss Snow as a hound. He will do whatever it takes to protect her, no matter the cost, except for what she forbids. If there is any better sign that he only fought us because he had to, I have yet to encounter one. So yes, I'm rooting for them. He was an honourable opponent. And as an ally, he is a vicious beast. One worthy of our master."

Sounds of agreement came from all around, bringing a smile to Eirwen's face. Even after he had made clear just how mad he had been, they still were willing to give him a second chance. She was happy that at least her own were fully on her side.

Red returned, accompanied by staff with the second round of dishes and drinks. He leaned over and shielded his voice, ensuring only Eirwen could hear it. "They're drawing you a bath, so I suggest we will skip dessert. The evening is still young and I hope to enjoy it with you in private." Eirwen barely kept in a shiver at the alluring whisper in her ear, though she could feel the goosebumps on her skin.