Chapter 30.1

While everyone enjoyed the next set of dishes, Red whispered in the ears of Eirwen's doorguards, again his whispers sheltered against eavesdropping. He could have gone for mental messages, but no, he wanted everyone to get used to this method. She suspected he told them of his plans, so that they knew they'd have to skip out on the dessert.

She also noticed he was subtly offering her drinks with less alcohol, steering both of them away from the options that would get them drunk rather than just slightly under the influence. Not so subtle that nobody noticed, but subtle enough that they all pretended they hadn't caught on. Except for Fang, who eagerly snatched up the heavier drinks.

Red retaliated against both Eirwen and Fang by telling them slightly embarrassing stories about each other. For Eirwen, the time she had smiled and told another noble that the only way she'd take his hand was if it had been cut off, offering him assistance with that. As for Fang, he told about when she had bit into a good piece of meat that hadn't rested yet, causing the juice to splatter over multiple people. His stories and the conversation weren't retaliation, just simply friendly teasing. She loved seeing this side of him.

When most of the second course was gone and staff came to take away many plates, one member gave Red a quick sign. With a smile, he rose and offered Eirwen his hand. She had already steeled herself, though truth be told she was burying her nerves. She wanted this, so why was she nervous? From the kindness in his eyes, she knew he knew and understood, easing her tension. She followed him, her doorguards falling in behind as he led her through a back door to a private staircase. He knew the way well here, that much was clear.

She wanted to tease him but couldn't find the words as they walked up the stairs. Blazes, she felt more nervous than she had been for their first time. She understood why. Deep down, despite all her talk about putting pressure on him so that he wouldn't wait forever, she had been worried about this next step. The moment where he would go from suitor to lover. And it wasn't him she feared. It was her own reactions. Or maybe both. What if he still changed his mind and rejected her? Or what if she lashed out at him?

"Take it easy, Mo Chroí. We won't do anything that you feel uncomfortable with. Your comfort is far more important than our lust."

Of course he had caught on. For all his flaws, he still was far too quick at catching on. But she still feared him reaching a conclusion too easily.

Know that this has nothing to do with your confession earlier.

"I know. Don't worry. We're here."

He unlocked the door and led them into a relatively small room, just four narrow beds and a few clothing racks. A large curtain hung before a second door, while a smaller curtain hung next to it.

Pushing the curtain aside, he opened the door into the next room. Here, a decently sized luxurious bed sat near a fireplace, while a bath tub filled with hot water stood ready next to a writing desk. On the ground stood a platter with various products for washing. Eirwen noticed this side also had curtains covering the doorway and communication hatch.

Red saw her glances and addressed her with a smile. "The curtains allow for relative privacy, while still permitting bodyguards to enter quickly when needed. This room is smaller than the other option available, but more intimate."

Ah, so he had planned this then. She narrowed her eyes at him. "If I recall correctly, we paid to rent the entire place. Who did you delegate to the other room?"

"Light and Rook." He laughed. "They're getting annoying with the furtive glances at each other, so I figured I'd force them into a chivalry situation." She shook her head with a sigh, but Red just grinned back at her. "Since they meddled in our favour, I meddled in theirs. That room contains beds for servants, so they're sharing the room with others and won't be tempted to misbehave, but the situation might convince them to properly start courting each other. I already recruited Oath as an accomplice, she was cackling at the idea."

Oh, he was good, setting that up in part to distract her from her worries. She laughed as she let down her hair, cracking her neck after all the travel. It had been a while since she had done long horseback trips, the assassination risk during the war necessitating that she travelled in carriages. She put that thought aside and looked at him with an impish grin on her face. "So, are you going to turn around and stand guard while I bathe?"

He shook his head. "Absolutely not." Two words, all he needed to say. She undressed in front of him, letting him take in the sight before she slipped into the tub with naught but the heart pendant still on. For a few counts, his eyes lingered on it, though with less grief and more resignation than she had expected.

She held it in her hand as her body soaked up the heat of the water. "It's strange, isn't it? Mourning you while having you by my side. Even now, I still have no intent of taking it off. Blazes, I might just take it with me to my grave."

He came over and gave her a gentle kiss on the temple. "It is perfectly understandable. It is not me you mourn, it's what we were. What we could have been. Full equals, reigning together unrivalled by any peers. Because even though I will never leave your side, it's still not the same. Not for the world, and not for us." His hand stroked the silver heart then laid down on her hand with a gentle squeeze. "This heart symbolises what we lost. And nothing we can do will undo the price you paid to get here. So keep it, please. It is the greatest symbol of your love that I can imagine."

She noticed he held in what he normally would have added there. That it was more than he deserved. He still felt like that, of course, but mayhaps he was finally accepting that his feelings didn't match reality. She too put it aside for now, letting his hand linger on hers and enjoying the moment.

After a while, he let go and took off his vest and shirt. Sitting besides the tub, he gentle washed her, while her fingers brushed his body, exploring old and new scars. Injuries sustained when facing bandits, burn scars from when he was still young, and new ones that he had sustained in the mountains. "You had a hard time here, didn't you?"

"Without you, yes, emotionally. And physically due to less healer support at hand." He guided her hands to several scars. "A knife I took to my side and entrapped, so that the owner couldn't hurt anyone else with it while I killed two of his comrades. A semi-Verglassed sword slash I had to take with my bare arm at what was supposed to be a party, not a moment of betrayal. A pack of dire wolves that chose me as their primary target, trying to take me down fast. That was the first time I gigantified, as it was the only way to shake them off."

She embraced him, pulling him close to her as her hands touched on several serious scars on his back, ones she had felt back when their dreams had combined. He whispered in her ear, explaining as his breath sent shivers down her spine. "The day I earned my name, fighting against a large group of giants. The rest focused on their pet wolves and archers, while I took on everything else. It was forceful and ruined my pathways for weeks, but I still managed to take them out quickly. The rush did mean my armour faltered, so they injured me greatly. And others needed the healing more, so I forced my own recovery."

No wonder the moniker of Crimson Giant was so sacred that even his father hadn't dared touch his sword. Yet he had given it up for her. For himself as well, as he had admitted. Yes, he could have come back here and wield Crimson, but that would have torn the two of them apart. So he had stayed with her.

Another kiss on her temple, then he slipped free from her embrace and moved around her. From behind, he unbraided her hair, then began washing it gently. Sure, she could have done this herself, but it felt lovely to have his fingers gently comb over her skull. She leaned forward, allowing him full access, while he started using various products to clean it. The smells were lovely.

When he finished, he offered her a hand, letting her get up and step out. As she dried herself, he undressed fully, then slipped in. "Won't be long. If you want, you can prepare?" He winked and she shook her head at how shameless he was.

As she moved behind him, it was her turn to kiss his temple. "You'd wish. If you want me to enjoy myself, you're going to have to handle that yourself. Go wash yourself while I take care of your hair."

She enjoyed putting the same scents in his hair, sharing that with him right now. Since he had far less hair, she finished far quicker, leaning back and observing his back. The scars were a bit gruesome, forced healing that had left its marks. All originating from his side, meaning he had been mostly surrounded in that fight. It must have been extremely impressive to watch, and she hoped never to have to see him struggle like that. Another reason to practice that technique more, so he could be in control next time.

He rose and turned towards her, the sight lovely as she looked him over. He grinned and began drying himself, while she turned and closed the curtains. Laying down on the bed, she saw him come closer, already clearly excited by what he saw. He knelt on the bed, his hands holding him up over her, with eyes that now didn't show any of the guilt he showed so often. There was only one way to describe what was in those eyes, a boundless love.

He kissed her lips briefly, then whispered. "The evening is young, so let's take our time." Her attempts to protest, to indicate she wanted him now, were silenced when his lips covered hers and she melted into a gentle kiss filled with promises.