Chapter 14.1

The dawn woke Eirwen far too early for her taste. She wanted to turn around and sleep more, but the smell of the room instantly brought back memories of the night before. With a groan she got up and changed clothes, then threw open the windows to air the room out. An afternoon nap would have to suffice, because with the blush she currently had on her cheeks, there was no way she would be able to fall asleep again.

She sent her senses towards the private library, to spy on her weapon master. Fast asleep and exhausted. She focused on him more, then felt him stir so quickly retreated, as to not wake him up. Scanning over the rest of the estate showed a few people sleeping together here and there, most just sleeping in their own bed. One room held three exhausted members of her staff, the source of the exhaustion she could guess. There was a short pain in her heart, then her pride took over. He was still hers, even if they would take their time properly establishing that.

Satisfied with her scan, she covered the entire estate with restrained sensing, allowing her to detect people and ability usage, but no details. She reached out with her mind to the kitchen and requested breakfast for three, then opened the door to address her doorguards in person. "After breakfast, we will pick up two knights and four soldiers, then you can go to sleep." They nodded and she withdrew back into the room.

She looked at the painting, hurting her heart. Ironic that a reminder of his love for her was more painful than knowing he had followed her orders and found release elsewhere. It also explained why he had been able to keep his pain in during their meetings in the war. Constant exposure to his wounded heart would have trained him against her glares of cold hatred. And thanks to that, as much pain as he would show in those moments, he still never gave in during their negotiations.

After breakfast, she changed her escort and went out to inspect and talk to the estate guards and staff. All properly polite and respectful. She sensed no hatred in them, though she could see their pain at every reminder of the absence of their Marquis. Still, they were trained well. Only two more had quit, bringing the total to six. As of the guards, those all stood loyal. When questioned, they confirmed that sentiment in town had settled down, needing far less interference. The public mourning method helped there.

Shortly after the fourth bell, a knight approached Eirwen. The woman had patrolled during the night and clearly still needed more sleep, but was dressed properly nonetheless. She was hiding a worried look, which all but confirmed to Eirwen what this was about. They went to a quiet corner and Eirwen ordered the others to provide them with some privacy. Once the others had taken distance, she addressed the knight. "Siress Nantgate. Speak."

A quick bow. "Your Grace. I need to report an event from last night. I encountered the weapon master at the kitchen, where he asked me to escort three maids to their room as part of my patrol. The three had a hard time walking and the smell sug-"

Eirwen raised her hand to cut off Nantgate. No need to force the knight to share those details. "Did the three enjoy themselves?"

A blink, then another. "Ah, uhm... Yes, your Grace. They even giggled a lot."

"Good. No need to tell me the rest." Nantgate looked incredulous at her. Eirwen sighed in turn. "He was acting on my orders, Siress. He was to find release elsewhere, so that his lust won't impact our interactions. You don't need to worry, I am aware and accepting. Please go rest now."

A quick bow and Nantgate went off, clearly bewildered by the affairs of nobles. Eirwen sighed deeply, then called back her escort and continued her inspection. She hoped she wouldn't have to repeat this conversation too many times, because it felt embarrassing to be one of those nobles that okayed their partner's affairs. She expected two more such conversations this day, here was hoping it would not be more than that.

The second conversation came about midway the ninth hour. Eirwen had noticed the three maids wake and visit the healer clinic shortly after. Once Bethan has completed their treatment, she left her apprentice behind and went on the look for Eirwen. As for Eirwen, she was investigating the treasury, inspecting any and all potential magic-supporting objects. She waved Bethan through when the healer approached her escort.

Bethan looked thunderous and concerned at the same time. She was about to speak up when Eirwen stopped her with a raised hand. "Should I ask how you realised it was him so quickly?"

Bethan frowned and hesitated with her answer. "... The love bites. I recognised the shape, as I healed them off you in the past. Combined with the other resemblances, plus all three of them from the same man, it was an easy conclusion." Eirwen groaned quietly at the memory of all the times she had needed Bethan's help to look presentable after a wild night. Then she noticed the pity in the woman's eyes. "Eirwen..."

"Don't give me that look. No, I'm not just condoning it. I ordered him to. And then I left him extremely bothered, leaving him little choice."

"I... What?" Bethan looked flabbergasted, a first for her, at least in Eirwen's memories. "Why would you do that? I... Is this some kind of special interest of yours?" Eirwen's cheeks turned red at the implication.

"Not that! No. It's just..." Her eyes turned soft, releasing her mask for a moment, showing emotions not unlike that of a scared child trying to find support from their parent. "I almost lost him again, Bethan. I pushed too hard and almost lost him, and only thanks to Lady Róisín did I manage to hold onto him for now. But she also talked some sense into me."

She sighed and set her sight to far away. "I need to take things slow with him. If I rush things, we both risk not being able to put our hurt aside. And with every angry word from me, with every step he retreats out of guilt, we risk breaking what's left. I can't do that. I just can't handle the idea of losing him again."

Eirwen took a deep breath, trying to gather the courage to explain her unorthodox approach. "The problem is that our emotions are too intense, especially with our usage of the flames. I need at least one of us to be able to resist the other, no matter what. So I told him to find release elsewhere, at least for now, while we slowly build things up between us. Ordered, even. And now here we are."

"And that doesn't make you jealous?" Bethan immediately pointed out a potential flaw in Eirwen's plan. "Because that could work against you. If he rejects you and you're jealous, you might explode all the same."

Eirwen could feel lust and possessiveness come over her for a second. "That won't be a problem. I already claimed him as mine. None else would ever be able to do so now. Besides," and she shrugged, acting as if she didn't care and almost believing herself, "I put restrictions on him to make sure he will avoid situations that could really invoke my jealousy. So even if I lose control, I trust he will be able to talk me down."

The healer shook her head. "You've truly gone mad. Alright, I'll accept it for now. But if things change, please tell me. I will gladly beat some sense into him." She would actually do that, beat him up, then refuse to heal him. Eirwen smiled at the idea of a healer trying to hurt the Western Blade. The scariest part is that she could do it, even if only because he would never dare resist her anger.

While they continued talking about other matters, Sir Caerbychan approached. His face showed clearly what he meant to bring up. Eirwen promptly raised her hand. It was too embarrassing to explain again. "I am aware, Sir Caerbychan. The weapon master acted on my orders last night. If you want a more detailed explanation, please ask him instead." The man bowed wordlessly, his facial expression one of bewilderment, yet he simply accepted her explanation. Three down, here was hoping that would be all.