Chapter 24.1

Pertrellan kept looking at Eirwen, repeating the same question for the fourth time today. "Are you absolutely sure about this? I can just stick around here, you know." Eirwen couldn't help but smile at the motherly behaviour. Pertrellan had brought up the same concerns the day before and Eirwen simply couldn't get her to stop worrying. It was irrelevant that the royal delegation and other guests had all arrived at Verglas territory yesterday, and that the Iceheart representatives had mostly already gone off to their own territories. The Vicomtesse still wanted to stick around.

"Relax. Like I told you over ten times already, I still have two dozen knights, half a dozen healers, my doorguards, my suitor, the full support of House Carraig, and countless troops at hand. I will be fine. So go home, spend some time with your family, and make sure the Verglas territories are fine." Eirwen held the woman's hand, trying to reassure her. The Vicomtesse understood very well that there were only allies left in Leathad Den Ghrian, but just like for Eirwen and the weapon master, it was hard for her to let go of old habits.

Several of the other Verglas nobles came up, teasing Pertrellan about her concerns. All friendly, all understanding just fine. Eirwen suspected at least half of them wanted to actually stick around, but she needed them back at their own territories. The people needed to see their leaders and be reassured that the war was truly over, that they could rest easy now. If Eirwen were to keep a sixth of her military force at hand, the people would never believe all was well. So the nobles had to go home.

Reluctantly, Pertrellan finally stopped trying to convince Eirwen. Instead, she turned to the weapon master. "You. I don't care whether you prefer weapon master or hound." A few nobles snorted at the new nickname, courtesy of Duchess Ashwood. It had stuck around and even the Iceheart staff and troops were calling him that now. Pertrellan glared and continued. "Protect her, even from yourself. Am I clear? If you break her heart, I'm contacting Duchess Ashwood at once."

He offered a small bow, as much politeness as he offered anyone. Even nameless and rankless, he still had no intent of submitting to any noble. "Of course, Seren. But I doubt you will have to call for reinforcements. Eirwen and Aoife would take me out long before you'd get the chance." He wasn't wrong. It would likely not be fatal, but Eirwen could definitely imagine the scenario playing out that way.

"Good." Pertrellan huffed. "Because I don't trust you to behave. Bethan, if he misbehaves, poison him slowly. Vicomtesse Carraig, if he steps out of line, make him suffer for me." Aoife nodded, amused by how much her peer was fussing. A twinkle in her eye revealed part of her looked forward to a chance to take out some stress on the weapon master. Eirwen understood the sentiment.

After the other nobles had left, Eirwen entered the estate again, flanked by Aoife and Bethan. Aoife had refused to depart, noting her siblings could manage the territory just fine. Her task, she had stated, was staying by Eirwen's side. It had taken Eirwen a lot of effort to hide her unexpected blush at that statement.

Once they were in Eirwen's study, her two companions looked at each other. It was Bethan who spoke first. "I wasn't going to state so in Seren's presence, but what's going on with you and your hound? The two of you are actively avoiding eye contact. What happened?"

"Nothing. It's fine." Things were most certainly not fine, but Eirwen wasn't about to reveal the embarrassing reason. She knew it was foolish to try to hide it, but still.

As she looked at Aoife, her breath hitched. She could tell from the expression on Aoife's face that she had caught on. "Of course. This is about your deal, that he has to find release elsewhere. You have a two-week minimum, no? That already passed yesterday, but you had to wait until the others left. And with how much flame mana you both used, you're at risk of losing control."

Her cheeks turned pink at being caught out. The truth really was embarrassing. Bethan whistled at the exposure. "Ah, I get it now." Her voice turned more kind. "In that case, perhaps we should hold you company this evening?" Eirwen hesitated for a count, then nodded her approval.

The rest of the day went by fast. Eirwen focused on paperwork, a needless act as she had long since caught up on everything. All she was doing now, was verifying her ideas with previous documents. She'd rather spar, but today was a bad occasion to risk losing self control.

She sensed him carefully from a distance. He was training a dozen knights, illustrating a technique which mixed fire and ice. She wanted to listen in but resisted the urge. He was already at risk of losing his self control. If she triggered it, she knew he would feel guilty afterwards, and so would she. Better to just keep a distance.

That evening, Eirwen dined in her office with Bethan and Aoife. They talked about the royal delegation, the other dignitaries, current state of the border, anything to distract from the heavier subject. All the while, they enjoyed a light drink. Eirwen didn't trust herself with strong ones.

Eventually, Aoife cracked. "Okay, I cannot bear it any more. Why are you tormenting yourself like this? You could just invite him over to your bedchamber, and nobody here would care. Blazes, they would celebrate."

Eirwen sighed. "I understand. It's just... Last time I lost control, he rejected me and then broke things off with me. It took a lot of effort to fix things and I honestly believe we need to take things slow. But I cannot afford to use him as an idle asset, so flame mana will always be used. The only thing I could properly come up with, was making sure he had the willpower to reject me."

Aoife shook her head in disbelief, while Bethan looked at Eirwen with pity. She did that a lot when it came to the weapon master. The healer spoke up, trying to keep her tone light. "Don't forget, if you want him beaten up, I will gladly take care of that for you." Not that Bethan would need to go that far. Merely withdrawing all healing would already get in his way.

"I haven't forgotten. It's fine, Bethan. My possessiveness is my problem and as long as he's able to reject me kindly, I trust I can hang on. I just need to avoid him on days that he is close to losing control himself."

Silence fell as everyone overthought things. Suddenly, Aoife blurted something out. "If your own control is a problem, why haven't you taken any temporary lovers, then?" Her words faster than her own self-control, a flush quickly rising up her cheeks in turn. "I mean, if you make him settle his urges through satisfying his lust, why can't you do the same?"

Eirwen looked away, focusing on the bottles on the table. "I could, but with who? He has it easy, nameless as he is. Plenty of people from his rank that are interested, and none able to make me feel truly jealous. But I can't go for the servants. My position is too high above them to allow for an act without coercion."

Aoife almost spoke, then thought better. She spoke up, mostly to herself. "Your own rank is impossible. The youngest Duke is what, two decades your elder? I guess you could have gone for a visiting dignitary, but that would raise expectations for courtship. Verglas nobles are your subordinates and too old. Iceheart would work age-wise, but feels like a power discrepancy... I guess nobles are out of the question, then."

Bethan nodded, then shrugged. "Couldn't you go for knights? It's how Aoife usually handles things, no? They're all well-mannered enough to know not to have expectations over it."

Aoife had a complicated look, realising full well their situations couldn't be compared. Eirwen barked a laugh herself. "I've been their Duchess of Ice for years. None would be able to properly treat me like a woman. Besides, he'd cripple them for it out of jealousy." She looked at Aoife, who nodded in turn.

"You're right. I highly doubt he would be able to restrain himself, unless you actively pleaded with him. He is... Not fully in his right mind. I thought so already during the war, but that was nothing compared to his current state."

Bethan voiced her objection. "Hold on. Why would he be jealous of mere knights? That doesn't make sense whatsoever. I will accept your other arguments, but I cannot agree with that one."

"He's nameless, Bethan. Whenever he sees a knight, he knows they are as rankless as him but proved themself on the battlefield. In comparison, he is beneath them socially. So if he has a chance, then so do they. That is why if I give a knight too much attention, it will draw his jealousy. And I need him stable."

Aoife had a wry smile on her face. "So servants aren't an option, neither are knights, and your only proper peers are decades older and all married. Hardly an option even if one was around. I guess all we can do is keep you company so you don't go off to do foolish things, eh Eirwen?"

"Thank you. That is greatly appreciated. Now then, shall we discuss a different subject? I can use a distraction." The two were eager to supply one, allowing her to keep her mind off things.

That said, Aoife had missed one obvious option, namely herself. Eirwen felt like her hound wouldn't object in that case, even though Aoife could be considered his rival. The only thing he'd say, was not to break Aoife's heart. And that was exactly why it felt wrong to approach her just to satisfy Eirwen's lust, when Aoife clearly held Eirwen in her heart. So Eirwen ignored the option. What she needed now was a distraction, not Aoife in her bed. Not Aoife heartbroken afterwards. Thus, like her hound had done, her own feelings had to be buried deep.